More wisdom from our vendors, authors, and institutions:
- "Allen Holub . . . now works as a consultant, helping companies
not squander money unnecessarily on software." --
Holub on Patterns, Apress ISBN 1-59059-388-X (About the Author, p. ix)
. . . (We try to limit our squandering to really necessary situations.)
- "One of the benefits of object-oriented languages is that you
can upgrade pieces of a program without rewriting the rest of it." --
Java Swing, O'Reilly ISBN 1-56592-455-X
. . . (Fantastic! That's going to free up most of our programmers.)
- "The Web application will run on machines with
64mb or less of physical memory." -- Rational Software
seminar example of a "non-functional requirement", Chicago, April 16, 2003
. . . (Sorry, you can't run this program. Your machine is too big.)
- "Maximize developer time with automatic memory
management and concurrent debugging."
- Advertisement by Franz, Inc., ACM Intelligence
Fall, 2000, p. 13.
. . . (Our programmers manage to maximize their time without your help.)
- "Unlike Cobol, Fortran, or even Pascal,
object-oriented languages are based on the philosophy of Plato." --
Communications of the ACM, October, 2006, p. 66
. . . (Would Plato have favored Smalltalk over C++?)
- "The pressure of building software in Internet time
is forcing businesses to adapt quickly to new technologies while
keeping employees as productive as possible" -- IBM
Rational Services brochure D-194C
. . . (Without that pesky pressure, we could go back to ignoring
new technologies and letting our employees be unproductive.)
- "One of the virtues of the C language is that you can program
new functions not already on your machine"
- Library of Computer and Information Sciences flyer Y-495, promoting a book
from Prentice Hall.
. . . (Would that make C a 4th-generation language?)
- "Unit testing is a time consuming and
counter-productive effort . . . " -- Parasoft adverstisement
in February, 2003, C/C++ Users Journal
. . . (Well, if it's counter productive, stop doing it!)
- "Additional airtime is only $0.35 per minute during
peak hours and $0.35 per minute during off-peak hours."
- flyer from WorldCom Wireless L04/S13-02411953-LA04
. . . (Well, that's worth staying up late for!)
- "One of the most valuable features of the methods used to solve general
linear programming problems is that the methods guarantee that the optimum solution is
the best." - IBM publication E20-8171-0, An Introduction to Linear
Programming, p. 8.
. . . (We really hated the older methods where the optimum
solution was terrible.)
- "Users are going to want to do things with your parts that you never
imagined." - IBM presentation on object-oriented tools, Itasca, Illinois,
April 12, 1995.
. . . (You'd be surprised what we're imagining right now.)
- "Education to include completion of one course in which
the individual designed a QSAM file using subroutine to process a master file for
designing of a business report. Education to include completion of one course in which
the individual coded in JCL for implementation and manipulation of macros for QSAM and
VSAM file. Education to include completion of one project in which the individual
performed multitasking using QSAM and BSAM." - Recruiting ad in
ComputerWorld, August 26, 1996, p.99.
. . . (You forgot the part about written communications skills.)
- "FORTRAN: Acronym for FORmula TRANslation. The first high-level
computer language, developed 1954-1958 by Jim Backus." - Microsoft Press
Computer Dictionary, 1991.
. . . (Later language developers were less myopic.)
- "Windows 3 supports over 550 function calls that applications can
use. It is highly unlikely that you will ever memorize the syntax to all these calls."
- Charles Petzold: Programming Windows -- The Microsoft Guide to writing
applications for Windows 3, 1990, p. 11
. . . (Just tell us which 200 will be on the final exam.)
- "The paint roller [icon] has been changed to a paint bucket,
as an additional enhancement." - User's Guide to OS/2 Warp, IBM publication
G25H-7204, p. xiii.
. . . (That settles it! Now we can justify the upgrade.)
"/GOD labels the data points in a data
range . . . with the contents from a specified data range."
- Lotus 1-2-3 Reference Manual (release 2, 1985)
. . . (And on the seventh day
- "For a large int value such as one billion, the binary
equivalent will have about 30 bits. But 30 digits of zeros and ones are too big for
an int or even a long."—William J. Collins:
Data Structures and the Java Collections Framework, p. 162
. . . (So, what should our program do when an int field overflows?)
- "1:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m. - Distributed Pedabyte Scale Cloud Storage
with Gluster"—Solicitation for an online presentation from
Zenoss, February 24, 2012
. . . (Would that be for pedagogues who are running out of space?)
- "Payment Details
_ $1795 Single Student _ $3590 Two Students"—Agile
Boot Camp brochure from ASPE-SDLC
. . . (If only I could find a partner to go with.)
- "Computer Information Systems Manger (Sacramento, CA).
The beneficiary will be supervising one employee. His designation is
Quality Assurance Analyst in the Project. Involve in development of Internet based web
applications to serve in the Supply Chain Business. Customize the product to work with
Oracle Apps 11i ERP application, Siebel CRM, which is tightly integrated all the way
from Planning, procurement, order management, Logistics, Transportation to reach the
customer with Proof of delivery concept."—Recruiting ad in
ComputerWorld, January 13, 2014, p. 30
. . . (Sounds perfect! I hope the job is still open.)
Return to IDI home page
Last modified 31 January 2014.